EXECUTIVE ORDER 1102

EXTRA: THE LATEST STORY UNFOLDS
THE GREAT NATIONAL REALIGNMENT (APRIL 1, 2026)
Headline: The Administration celebrates the one-year mark of its "Efficiency Blitz" with 385,000 federal positions removed; Secretary of State Marco Rubio warns of a NATO exit as allies refuse to support Operation Epic Fury in the Gulf; Supreme Court hears final arguments on the Executive Order to end birthright citizenship.
The Morning Briefing (Alice’s POV)
I stood at the podium in a room that had recently been "downsized" to a single folding chair and a ring light. From my perspective as Alice, the White House has become a perpetual tea party where the tea has been replaced by raw milk and the guest list is updated every fifteen minutes via a social media post. I looked out at the press oysters, half of whom had been uninvited and tried to explain why the Department of Education had vanished. "It’s not gone," I insisted, "it has simply been 'curtailed' into a more efficient, invisible state." Above us, the Cheshire Cat. Our big, beautiful beast of an executive was whiffling through the Rose Garden, his golden scales catching the light. He roared a new decree about birthright citizenship, and the trees themselves seemed to tremble in agreement. He doesn't believe in dictionaries; he believes in "winning" words. To my left, the Mad Hatter and March Hare were frantically "snicker-snacking" through the remaining federal servers, claiming that if an agency doesn't fit on a thumb drive, it’s a waste of space. Even the Caterpillar was there, blowing smoke rings and questioning if the oysters had enough "natural immunity" to survive the new tariffs. I just straightened my headband and told them all that the Caucus-race was going perfectly, we’re all running in circles, and the The Cheshire Cat says we’ve already won.
Wonderland News


BREAKING NEWS. "Folks, we just had the greatest, most successful address in history. Tremendous ratings! I told them, nobody does addresses better than me. We’re winning so much, it’s unbelievable. The fake news won't tell you, but the nation is doing better than ever before. It’s perfect. Total victory. Believe me, folks."
The Man Behind the Golden Curtain (Dorothy’s POV)
Up-date from Oz
I clicked my heels together, but instead of Kansas, I found myself in the middle of a high-definition briefing on Operation Epic Fury. As Dorothy, I’m just trying to navigate this new Emerald City, but the Yellow Brick Road keeps being rerouted to Mar-a-Lago for "atmospheric synergy." "We aren't in the old alliance anymore," I told the cameras, clutching my binder. My new companion, Marco the Hungry Tiger, was prowling around the stage. He used to be a different beast, but now he’s developed a ferocious appetite for NATO reform. He roared that if our friends didn't let us use their "forests" for our planes, we’d leave the woods entirely. He’s searching for a "finish line" in the Gulf, but every time we get close, the Wizard pulls a lever and adds a new mission. "I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ!" the voice boomed. The Wizard was currently "paying no attention" to the rising food and gas prices, instead focusing on a flaming projection of his own face that promised regime change was already achieved. He told me to just keep wearing the Ruby Slippers, "which I’m told are now part of a limited edition luxury line" and to stop worrying about the Wicked Witches of the Media melting in the front row. There’s no place like home, but home currently has a 200% tariff on it.
Further updates to be found in the evening edition.
End of Announcement | © 2024 Good News Week | Published in Blogger

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