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The Price of WAR

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Local hero Donald Trump successfully solved economics today. He ordered small corner gas stations to unilaterally slash prices to $2.50.  Because that is how global oil markets work.  Ma and Pa gas stations must immediately sacrifice their tiny profit margins. If they do not, "big problems" will surely lie ahead.  Economists are absolutely stunned by this brand-new, foolproof strategy.  Dictating prices via angry social media posts completely replaces complex supply chains.  OPEC is shaking.  Wall Street is crying.  The ghost of Adam Smith is officially retiring.  Next week, our savior will tweet at local grocery stores to make ribeye steaks cost a nickel. QUOTE: " Trump targeted localized fuel suppliers and gas stations, demanding that they unilaterally slash their profit margins. He issued a warning on social media stating: “Gasoline Retailers must get their Prices down, IMMEDIATELY!” He added that if these small business retailers failed to q...
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THE BEAUTIFUL GAME TARNISHED

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CRYPTO CON

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The Daily Absurd All the absurd information you don't need.
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The Daily Absurd All the absurd information you don't need.
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The Daily Useless All the useless information you don't need.
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🚨 HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT 🚨 Many people are saying this is the greatest upgrade to the White House since electricity. We are officially converting the South Lawn into the WORLD'S PREMIER UFC ARENA. That's right. No more boring state dinners. No more endless meetings. America wants ACTION. The fake news media said it couldn't be done. They were wrong, as usual. Construction crews are already building a beautiful octagon, probably the most beautiful octagon ever built. Dana loves it. The fans love it. The Secret Service is learning takedown defense. Every world leader who visits Washington will now be required to make a ceremonial walk to the cage. Ratings are expected to be TREMENDOUS. MAKE AMERICA FIGHT AGAIN! 🔥 THE MAIN EVENT 🔥 Following my VERY SUCCESSFUL trip to Asia, where I learned from the best sumo champions (they all said I have incredible balance), I am proud to announce the first-ever White House Octagon S...
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